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Posts Tagged ‘Clive James’

As they were growing up, my kids used to positively insist I reminisce to them about the time before they were born. It didn’t matter a jot that they would often have no idea who I was talking about – they just loved hearing ‘dad’s stories’. Now, no longer impressed, they simply make fun of me if I dare to mention anything about the ‘old days’. Hmmm, time to put these anecdotes away until the grandchildren are born. But before I do, Working Mum has suggested that some of my favourites might make an interesting blog. So if you find this a little too self-indulgent, please blame her. I’m not clever enough to make this stuff up so I assure you everything is true.

1 – I’ve had a bath with Sir Bobby Charlton
Bobby Charlton was a Manchester United and England football legend. In 1966 he played a pivotal role in England’s greatest ever footballing triumph, winning the World Cup. In 1979 when working for a football magazine in the UK, I was invited to play in what was billed as the ‘Bobby Charlton All-Star Eleven’ versus the British Army. I felt just a teensy bit inadequate trotting out onto the park given my ‘all-star’ credentials were, well let’s be honest, piss-poor compared to teammates Graham Gooch, John Bond and the many other notable sporting celebs taking part. ‘Who’s that tall bloke?’ I heard one fan say ‘… Never heard of the wanker.’ It was a fantastic day though and raised loads of dosh for a worthy charity. But best of all  I got to dine out ever since on the slightly perverted notion that I’ve had a bath with Bobby Charlton. Well I have!

2 – I’ve insulted Kylie Minogue
Commissioned to take some photos of our Kyles for a magazine, the shoot got off to a bad start. After the introductions, such was the power of thought rushing through my head, it just kept on going rushing straight out my mouth… ‘Gosh, aren’t you short.’ I said.

3 – Dannii Minogue signed my undies
Another Minogue photo shoot and this time I was determined to be much more polite. Might have been a little too familiar though, when I asked her to sign my undies. The lovely girl that she is, said yes and even wrote ‘Got into you pants at last. Love Dannii xx’. Working Mum gave them away a few years ago to a charity shop claiming I didn’t wear them anymore. Oh derrr!

4 – Shared a Guinness with Bono in Sydney’s Irish Pub
To be truthful I just happened to be in there when U2 came in and sat near me, so I suppose this claim is a little tenuous… but I was there, to be sure, to be sure.

5 – Shared a cigarette with Mick Jones
Mick Jones was the lead guitarist and a vocalist of the British punk rock band The Clash and later Big Audio Dynamite. Mick generously passed me his cigarette and being a non-smoker is simply no reason to refuse a gift from a legend. Not sure what brand they were but we laughed and laughed about it for ages.

6 – Clive James came to my wedding
Clive James is an expatriate Australian author, poet, critic, talk show host, TV presenter, travel writer… the list is endless. He’s also a family friend of Working Mum. I think he approved of her choice. Well he came to the wedding didn’t he?

7 – I’ve danced with Samantha Fox

Arguably Britain’s premiere sex symbol of the 1980s. After famously insuring her breasts for a quarter of a million quid, she went on to win The Sun Newspaper’s Page Three Girl of the Year award for three consecutive years between 1984 and 1986. Around this time she also got to dance with me in Stringfellows Nightclub for about two minutes while her boyfriend went to the toilet.

8 – Marcia Hines made me a sandwich
Born in the USA, Marcia Hines is vocalist, actress and TV personality who achieved enormous success in her adopted homeland of Australia. She also does a well tasty bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich.

9 – Played five-a-side football with Billy Bragg
Billy Bragg, is an English musician who blends elements of folk music, punk rock and protest songs. Playing on Clapham Common in 1987, our team got to the semi-finals but were knocked out by pop band Tears for Fears – which is more than I was about their music at the time. Actually that’s unfair, I did quite like Shout, Everybody Wants to Rule the World and Mad World.

10 – Appeared on the cover of a national magazine
in my underpants
Mmm, probably the less said about this one the better – it wasn’t pretty.

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